What do I do with my hands?

This is a question I get asked a lot and let me ask you this:

When you are talking to a friend in a café, do you ever stop and freak out about what you should do with your hands?  When you are talking with your partner or kids or parents or colleagues, do you ever worry about if you should put your hands in your pocket or by your sides or clasp them in front of you?  It’s a funny thought, right?

That’s because when you talk with people you know, you are generally COMFORTABLE. You are PRESENT with them. You are not WORRIED about what they will think of you (well maybe sometimes you worry about that but I bet it doesn’t translate to worrying about what you should do with your hands!)

When you are comfortable, present and confident in front of a group, the LAST thing you would even think about are your hands, your voice or your body.

This is a CLUE. That you need to now focus on feeling comfortable, present and confident in front of a group. A mentor of mine once said that who are you are on stage is who you are off stage – and I believe that’s true.  We should not be needing to PUT ON AN  ACT when we are in front of a group. There is no 'charisma' button.  We should be just as natural as we would be talking one-on-one to a friend, child, family member or colleague.

But HOW to be natural, when your heart-rate is going through the roof, when your throat is dry, when the works won't seem to come out, when your brain freezes up, THAT is the issue.

And that’s what I’m passionate about teaching.  Or rather helping people to un-learn.  I believe we have learned to feel this fear and nervousness and worry. And now we need to unlearn it, in order to have confidence in who we are and what we want to say.

Please know, that I totally believe in you. You can do this. It’s just that you haven’t learned how yet. But you can. Trust me.  I’ve helped thousands of people over 30 years and I know that if you are reading this, you absolutely have it in you to be a clear, confident and captivating speaker (even if you don’t believe me yet).